(Source: spaceghostzombie, via lionsandreys)
What makes someone a New Yorker?
“Their energy and ability to absorb, deal, and brush off all sorts of nonsense that we New Yorkers are continually confronted with. Also a NYer needs to know how to properly jaywalk, walk quickly on busy streets, and know when to cross regardless of what color the “light” is.”
-Fern Mallis
(Source: New York Magazine, via newlyyorked)
on to the next one…
NYC here I come again. Last time it was Jay-Z/Eminem at Yankee Stadium; this time around … Lady Gaga NYE in Times SQ.
I have the best of luck in winning things/trip/concert tickets/etc. You’d think my life was always this hopping but it really isnt. I live a pleasantly quaint life with my beaufitul daughter; very home bound with a new beginning: living by ourselves for the first time. (we can’t wait) We compliment & complete each other.
Now why is it that I do not have the best of luck winning the heart of man. “you’re a really nice person…”, “eres una persona con un grande corazon…”. PA-lease! #vomit
I may have my lonely times and although its ideal to remarry have more kids and live the happy marriage life I’ve always envisioned I often wonder if it in fact suits me. Yes I believe it does…damnit!!!!
“You may be ideal for me but i’m not waiting … you want it? Show it: come and get it. Be a man! It could have been you on this trip with me but you passed me by so I’ll move on to the next one.”
-ciao
Sr.Destino
I often ask myself why I do the things I do. We all know that drunk text results in complete failure along with a hangover at the end. A couple of Fridays ago in tow with family we watched ” #teamjabobdeleon ” perform with his three bad ass accordians. So proud of my cousin. :) Arriving in heels looking hot with volumized curls, I knew the dance floor was going to be mine all night long. Until a few glances in the start of the night, there he was. Everywhere.
What is he doing here?! Wait is that him? How would he know where I was? He knows this is one of my scenes and he knows about any latin music event that’s happening. But would he actually come? There he is again! The more I danced and the next drink I consumed the more he showed himself somehow. ‘Ok now that’s not him; that’s a relief! W.A.I.T a. M.I.N.U.T.E. Ok [ ] this is not cool? Are you really here or aren’t you?’ I told myself that I wouldn’t call or text him all weekend; enough time has not passed for me to do it. [Its not a game I’m playing its more of a reassuarnce for himself that I’m not one to be jerking ones feeling with.] I still don’t understand why his face would be everywhere. His face was under every cap/hat. Every body type that resemebled him, I saw his face. I went crazy that night I just had to text him. He did call the next day and you guessed it; it wasn’t him that night. I do, however, hear him every minute … every second, calling; literally and ghostly.
Siempre me busca y sr. destino sige con preguntas y cuentos. Mi respuesta: nadien mas ocupa mi querer, yo se que el me espera. Se que el corazano no deja extranarme. Lo extrano, yo misma, y no voy a abadonar el amor que siente por mi. Sr. destino digale yo siento el desesperación de el. Por favor que no muere voy a volver, no me tardo en llegar.
-ciao
Lord you are my strength
There’s always a time and place certain things happen in your life; I strongly believe that everything happens for a reason and that reason is GOD. He is our creator, our father, our holy spirit. He’s with you and carries you everyday, through good and the not so good. God has heard my happiness, my saddest of times, and the complete shatteredness my heart has ever felt in its lifetime. My destiny is already planned out and to not know what any outcome may be, knowing that its the way God has planned it, is ok with me because at the end of day the faith stays intact; my life is in his hands, and when its in his hands its the best feeling in the world to know that God has control of these trials and tribulations and the end of them is sheer greatness.
One day I came across a letter in such a random place I can’t even remember when, where, or how I came about it. I was still married living in Las Vegas; it was a really tough time for me because when I read this I could not help but weep while reading it over and over and over again. Its unknown how long this man wrote and how far he went to express himself, but the fact that its page 2 says that he knew/knows the facts of such happiness as well as what his part is to get there and be there.
…stressed out and I didn’t have God in my life. I also get sad because I know and more importantly, God knows that if I can get one last opportunity with you I would treat you better. God knows what my heart desires and it is you. God knows that we will establish a spiritual connection before we even think about sex. God knows that I will work harder than ever to get to management at Freeman. God knows that I will work as hard as I have to make sure you won’t work another day in your life again. God knows that if you give me another chance, I will do all in my power to make sure that when we take that next step, all you will have to worry about is being happy and taking care of your children. God knows that all I want to do right now is serve God and devote my life to you. Its all that I think about babe
Please believe me. I am not the same man. I have God in my life, I have this wonderful job opportunity around the corner, all that is missing now is you. We can take it slow. Lets focus on our friendship first. Lets establish this spiritual connection. I know you see the change in me, I just know you know. You just have to forgive the idiot who didn’t have God in his life because that man…
All I could think of and imagine was hoping this letter was written by my then husbnd putting his life in Gods hands for his unfaithfulness to his life, wife, and child. My four year marriage was not so great but I will say it had its great moments. There was too much sadness yet the happiness is something that you wish you can get back even for a little while; those moments that you take for granted. I put my distruptive marriage in God’s hands but I didn’t do my part working at it in Gods way that I let a worldly mind take its course. I didn’t and still don’t believe in divorce but some things for some reason happen and Gods plan of my lifes marital happiness will come when he sees fit. God has put us both through this trial and we get along so nicely [for the most part] that I often laugh at it; it makes me think if I’ll ever trust myself to trust again?
Ciao
starry night
If its one thing I’ve learned is that drunk crying is oh so hilarious. On a weekend to give thanks I decided to stay in with my cousin. [Roni gets me when I’m feeling a certain way.] We talked about whether we should stay in, meaning sitting in dads backyard and drink, or go out and be surrounded by nonsensical late-teeners.
On this particular night the sky spoke for itself. Nothing in its way to show its true self just a canvas of beauty with nothing and nowhere to hide. Although I wish I was one of those stars to hide away from what I was feeling that night it was time to come to terms with it. A tear or two … or more had me crushed while listening to artists my cousin and I have in common. And of course, songs from artist that talks about lost love, renowned love, true love, and above all chased love. All I could think about was failures of my many endeavours.
Broken hearted is what came over me, again, for the second since my divorce. Could it have been love that was felt? Trying to remember the feelings that were felt then were long gone. Were the stars aligned, then? While my thoughts went rampant while talking to my cousin we both stared at the starry night and all that could come out of it was how nonsensical my behaviour was. I laughed my drunkness booty to more drunkness and kicked all those douchbagery losers to the curb. Thank you starry night, although your clear sky didn’t make me see clearly that night due to my consumtion of great taste; it did open my heart to new and better possibilities. May you sleep on a pillow of stars.
-ciao
my seed of …
is a summary of my trials/tribulations & how I got here. Here’s to you corazon
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September 29, 2010
Many people have impacted my life that has brought me to make decisions that will stay with me until its my time to join God in heaven. Some are good and well…others are bad. Do I regret them? I can’t really say because I honestly don’t know. But this I do know…people do in fact give up too easily. So easy that they don’t believe in doing things for themselves and while we, as the people who care, are there for them it affects us so much that we tend to give up on them. People we love the most and hold close to our heart as well as those we are/were in love with are the ones that should matter but what happens when they give up on you as well as on themselves.
I wear my heart on my sleeve, that I will admit, and to have someone give up on something that belonged to “us” was a disaster for me; well at least for a little while. I thought it would change the person I was or thought I had become because of him, but it made me stronger and I continued to not give up on LOVE. We lose the sense of the word all together when emotions, lust, attraction, etc. come into play. It s that that should keep people together, not tear them apart. “Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres” When one loses all that is love, you give up.
So when I gave up with him I lost myself for a while knowing that the commitment I made to myself, my family/loved ones and most especially God was broken. A commitment I don’t take lightly. I took that hard life lesson and promised I’d try to never give up again. I am not perfect and am human to have broken promises, but those broken promises has helped me a little to stop me from saying; e.g. the hell with this/that.
No matter it being love, job, social network, ambitions, goals, etc. Don’t give up because you’ll never know who you’re giving up on and how it will affect them. Look at yourself and you’ll see a creation that can surpass anything in life.
‘Soon after I typed this out I shared it with a friend and here was her reply;
“It’s like you were reading my thoughts and feelings. It says it all. The hurt and pain to the survival and possibility of what could lay ahead. People automatically think that life IS easy and that it should be served on a silver platter and when things get tough that there are easier options or walking away is the only option left. The thing is though, that it’s not. You can choose to fight for something you believe in and what greater thing to fight for than LOVE. I’ve realized a lot about myself and how strong I am and what I’m capable of and walking away isn’t always the path that says I m strong, but staying is. If you can see passed your own mistakes and your own selfishness, to realize that beyond all the crap and pain; there’s still love. It may not be the same, but it’s always worse before it gets better.”’
All it takes is one to give up for others to follow at any pace and/or any time in their lives; so look up, open your heart and let Gods LOVE guide you. You’ll learn and practice that giving up is the easy way out.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
-ciao
(Source: myseedoftruth.com)
